Do You Shrink Around Confident People?

Spark #81 - What someone else’s confidence might be showing you about yourself

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You Want to Feel in Control—Then You Shrink

You want to make a strong impression. To feel smart, poised, in control.

But then—someone walks in, and you shrink. They seem confident. Polished. Focused.

And suddenly, you’re questioning yourself.

You don’t want to feel this way.

You’re tired of doubting yourself.

Still, something about their presence makes you pull back.

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Both Sides Hurt

I’ve felt it too.

I’ve judged instead of celebrated.

I’ve felt what happens when my success makes others shrink.

Both sides hurt. Both held me back.

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Don’t Shame It. Get Curious.

If you catch yourself playing small around someone clearly in their power, pause.

Drop the shame. Get curious instead.

What exactly about them is making you tense up?

• Their discipline?

• Their ambition?

• Their joy?

• Their freedom?

And what might that reveal about you?

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We All Do This

The truth is—we all do this.

It doesn’t make you petty. It makes you human.

Judgment is a mirror.
It shows us what we’re not ready to face.

Ouch.

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Let’s Talk About Women

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to silence our praise for each other.

At work, at dinner with friends, on social media—we go silent when we could celebrate.

We compete instead of connect.

We scan for flaws instead of admiring grit.

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Say It Out Loud

I’ve taught my daughters something different:

• Celebrate your friends.

• Acknowledge their brilliance.

• Share their wins out loud.

Because when we stop shrinking around each other, we all rise.

And if someone can’t see your strength?

They’re likely still searching for their own.

Offer grace. Then move on.

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Flip the Script on Scarcity

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