Stop Over-Explaining. Say It. Own It.
Spark #53 - How to own your decisions with confidence
You explain yourself too much.
You justify your choices—why you changed jobs, ended a relationship, moved cities. You over-explain when you don’t have to.
I know because I did it too.
I’ve justified why I transferred colleges. Why I quit my MBA. Why I let my hair go silver. Why I sold my yoga studio, left Philly, and lived on the road for three years.
At 60, I finally see it.
I don’t owe anyone an explanation. And neither do you.
There’s a great episode of the television series The Bear. In it, sloppy, gruff Cousin Richie lands in a Michelin-starred restaurant. Something clicks. He sharpens up, shifts his attitude, and starts wearing suits.
People notice. “Richie, you look great.”
His response? Every time, with confidence: “I wear suits now.”
No explanation. No backstory. Just a declaration.
That stayed with me for days. Then I decided:
I’m done justifying. No more oversharing.
So here’s where I stand:
I’m a performance coach. I cut through excuses and get people into action.
I’m a writer and the creator of Sparked—a daily freaking newsletter!
I teach what works—hard work, disrupting patterns, pushing limits, and getting unstuck.
I’m building a community that refuses to settle for good enough. (Join us!)
Period. End of story.
Like Richie, I’ve found a new level of confidence. And it’s working.
Now it’s your turn.
Who are you, right now? What are you doing? Can you state it simply, without over-explaining?
Decide who you are. Own it. No backstory. No justification.
I wear suits now. Thank you, Cousin Richie.
✨ Don’t settle for good enough.
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Cara, I am very grateful for who you are. The questions you ask and the wisdom you share in our coaching sessions have helped me discover who I am and to develop tools specific to me.
One of my favorite Sparks yet! I'm a writer and entrepreneur, still figuring out how to navigate all the questions of people who want an explanation for every life choice. When you take risks, you open yourself to commentary, but you still definitely do not owe anyone an explanation.