That's Not Who I Am Anymore
Spark #360 - Catch yourself, then stop
You keep the past alive by talking about it. The old story. The old role. Every time you say it out loud, it takes energy. Energy you need to be you now.
For me, it was being a professional skater. I skated for Team Rollerblade, traveling the world, performing on skates. I stopped in my late twenties. I carried that identity with me for years. It was who I was.
I sensed I had to put it down to make room for the next. She lives in me always. I just don’t need to keep talking about her.
Dropping stories of our past doesn’t start with doing anything. It starts with catching yourself saying it. Out loud to someone else. Quietly to yourself.
Next time you notice an old story emerging, stop talking. Then, gently, say: That’s not who I am anymore.
The story won’t disappear overnight. You’ve been repeating it for years. But each time you catch yourself ready to say it and you stop, you make more room for the you right now.
✨P.S. There are three ways an old self stays alive. This Spark covers one. The rest are in my latest video. Watch Sparked on YouTube.
I like learning that about you Cara. And, I want to share how different this is here in Mexico. I live in Ajijic, a fairly large expat community among the Mexicans on Lake Chapala. I've been here 30 years. It is extremely rare to hear someone ask, “What did you do?” Or for someone to say, "I was an engineer or nurse or astronaut!” We're mostly retired, and the questions revolve around what we're doing now, where we live, and where we came from. Most of us know that we left that person back in California, Ottawa, or London. And me, with 7 careers, I am hard pressed to even answer that question if it were asked. I knew this one man here for maybe 15 years. Then, a recent article highlighted him, his contribution to this community, and his past life. Things I never knew about him. I think it's important to let old versions of ourselves live in the photo album and focus on our current and hopefully future versions. Might I be in the minority here? Blue💙
That's interesting! I've had a lot of different things that I've done but I realise I don't talk about them much. Maybe I should a bit more! Because of course they have all formed who I am now. (I have a feeling when we meet Cara that we will not have enough time for all we want to talk about!!)