Nobody's Paying Attention
Spark #362 - What a relief.
My husband had lost a bunch of weight. We got home from a party and I asked what people said about how he looked.
“You know,” he said, “most people aren’t paying attention.”
That’s when I finally got it.
Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to be thinking about you. Not in a narcissistic way. In a distracted, wrapped up in their own stuff way.
Checking how you look. Replaying what you said. Wondering if they judged.
That’s a lot of wasted energy.
It’s such a relief to finally accept that most people really aren’t paying attention to you.
It is freeing! And something I tried to teach my daughter when she was in HS and dealing with adolescent angst. The idea that everyone is wrapped up in their own stuff - not in a bad way, as you wrote.
I hope Brian is well - send him my best!
It really is. I was doing some research on narcissism recently and in one of the sessions I watched, the patient had a complete freeze moment because they couldn't 'tell' what the therapist was thinking. The freedom realize nobody cares is kinda everything. That way, we can get on with it! Have a wonderful weekend, Cara. Thanks for always providing the good stuff! And Kudos to your husband. Losing a few pounds intentionally feels amazing. Tell him I think he looks great 😉!